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Lh Surge And Ovulation Same Day

Betty asks…

anyone using first response ovulation kit?

i have bought the first response ovulation kit and used it for the first time today two lines appeared almost the same colour one just a touch lighter? how similar do they have to be or does the test line have to be darker? or if it has not detected is the line very faint??? bit confused! thanks p.s anyone had any luck using these kits? if so how soon dd it happen?

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

I’ve been using the Answer OPK, but as far as my online research shows, they should all work about the same — the line should be as dark as or darker than the control line. If your test line is almost as dark, you may be very near your LH surge. Try again the same time tomorrow morning, and if it is as dark or darker, you are probably within 24-36 hours of ovulation. I had an increasingly darkening line over three days until I got two in a row that were darker than the control line. So (obviously) I’m hoping I ovulated and that this will be the month. Good luck!

Lizzie asks…

what is the best ovulation predictor when ttc?

is dollar tree ones ok? i want something that wont break my pocket either thanks also any other tips on how to get pregnant fast

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

I alternated between the target brand and the brand called answer, a cheaper brand sold at wal-mart. All the tests test for the same thing, the lh (leutenizing hormone) surge, and so a cheaper one isn’t really anymore better than an expensive one, except where you get into the ones that also test for other hormones (i think clearblue is the one that does that in their expensive fertility monitor…but it’s like over $100). The biggest thing is to stay consistent, don’t test one brand one day and switch the next because you need to be familiar with what the test looks like so you will recognize the positive result. The one’s i felt were much clearer and accurate were the answer brand…even used them to find out i was pregnant! (well, the answer brank hpts, lol).

Good luck to you

Carol asks…

Can you still ovulate even if your cervix is low?

…Im on CD13 of my cycle & I got a very strong Positive today on a ovulation test strip but when I was in the shower just before I felt my cervix & it was like 2inches up. . . . so my Q is, can you still ovulation even though your cervix is low!? cause I heard that when you ovulate your cervix rises to the point where your finger cant even reach/ touch it :s

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

This is kind of a funny question to me, not really becuz its funny…but becuz of my personal experiences with trying to locate my cervix..lol, if i only had a picture of me trying to find it!! Ugh, i laugh just thinking about it!! Squatting, one leg up on the tub, sitting on the toliet…i could go on believe me!! And yannow what? I never could positively say that i felt that it was higher, lower or inbetween?? Or even that i was feeling it at all? I think youd need to be examining yourself several times a day to notice a difference..or maybe thats just me? Idk.

So, all that being said, are you obsolutely sure that your feeling your cervix? I dont think it has much to do with when you actually ovulate, mostly becuz you could be wrong about your cervical position very easily…id trust in your opk’s.
I would get some cheapies and some digitals. I always got a 30 day pack of the cheapies and tested on those everytime i had to pee, and when one looked dark enough id use a digital opk (bring both kinds with you everytime, and a cup so you can use the same sample) i always liked the clear blue digitals, the ones with the happy face?! Lol, now thats unmistakable!! And after you get a positive, you dont need to test anymore so save those expensive digitals just incase youll need them again. Your Lh surge can last for several days in some instances, dont be alarmed, its very normal, chances are if you caught your surge early enough, which you prolly will like i did, testing so often, you can actually see your lines get darker and lighter after your surge peaks!! Neat huh?! In that time, you will have ovulated at some point, most likely in the time your opk directions tell you, so have fun with your baby dancing and take it easy!

Good luck, hope this helps.

Also, i wasnt a fan of checking my cerical position as it can put you more at risk for an infection or bacterial vaginosis, just be careful to wash your hands well…you could irritate your cervix too if your checking it too much and it could become painful.

Sandra asks…

i have been trying to get pregnant for 6 month and nothing has happen. should i start worrying?

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

No you shouldnt worry. Its all about timing and not so much sex. Now im not saying dont have sex but sex everyday won’t help. Sperm need time to mature so the more u have sex less and less mature sperm go inside hence the least likely they are to survive and meet up with the egg. Theoretically there are only 6-12 hours to get preg in a month so u have to take into consideration other factors. For instance how is his sperm count and motility(the way the sperm move) or are u producing enough fertile cerivcal mucus.

U need to find out when u ovulate. Don’t listen to everyone that says have sex 14 days after ur period because u can ovulate anytime plus not every woman has the all american 28 day cycle and if u do like i said before doesnt mean u ovulate the same day every month. Buy some ovulation test so u know for sure because guessing its’nt goin to help u..

Here’s some knowledge just incase you didnt know. Sperm typically needs to be in the vagina before ovulation happens since they can live in the vaina for 3-7 days but they have to go through a process thats gets them ready to penetrate the egg. The egg can live for 24 hours but usually dies after 6-12 hours. So using ovulation sticks tell u when u ovulate 3 days before u ovulate by detecting an LH surge(which is the hormone that stimulates the ovaries to release an egg) and gives you enough notice to have sex.

Also u can use pre-seed which is a moisturizer that mimicks the fertile cervical mucus that guides the sperm to the egg. You can order both the sticks and the pre-seed online for pretty cheap. With the combonation of those and someof the knowlede of conception u should be preg in no time!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maria asks…

Do i still have a chance i couldnt baby dance enough….?

I have a 29 day cycle and i got a positive lh surge on tuesday and wednesday but only baby dance yesterday (thursday) i believe yesterday was the day of ovulation but i had sex at night. Do i have a chance?

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

You and I apparently have the exact same cycle (I got a pos lh surge tues and wed as well and believe yesterday was ovulation day). Even though the days before your ovulation days are good days, it is also recommended to BD the day you ovulate and also the day after to cover all bases. You still stand a shot. I was the opposite. We were able to Tues and Wed but not last night. We may still try tonight just to play it safe.

Good luck and lots of baby dust to you!

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How Long Is Your Lh Surge Supposed To Last

Maria asks…

Wonder if I had my period after a leep?

I had a leep done on June 3 and on June 10 I had my period and continue to spot after that…even before my leep procedure I’m really irregular never did have a normal period…Well on July 5 I had heavy bleeding and a lot of blood clots ( sorry TMI ) it lasted for 2 days and 3 days before July 5 I did had some cramps now I’m back on spotting….So my question is “Was that my peroid ? and How long am I suppose to be spotting after a leep? And is it possible that you can get pregnant after having a leep? How soon after can you get pregnant after having a leep? Thanks for you time Aloha

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

You can go back to trying once you return to your regular ovulation cycle. It’s hard to say if that was your period– I mean even a doctor couldn’t know for sure because it depends if you had an LH surge and ovulated. I have high risk HPV but haven’t done a LEEP as my cells are only mild still (praying they don’t become severe with the pregnancy).

I would start buying ovulating tests strips and track your cervical mucus to try and figure out your cycle. Also, I have irregular periods and went on Vitex…well, the first month of taking it, I got pregnant so it must have done something for my cycle. I took it in liquid form for the first 14 days of my cycle two times a day…just mixed with a bit of water and shot it.

Good luck to you and Aloha (wish I lived in Hawaii)

Jenny asks…

BBT Chart stalkers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

I decided i would take an opk just to see what happens andt its way darker than the control line?? What the efff… Hmm.. I confirmed ovulation on cd 12 this month due to temping and im way bloated and crampy today.. could this be a good sign??


heres my chart.


I also too
k a fact plus hpt 2 nights ago and it was neg but i had tons of water i drank that day..

FF messed up my O day i didnt have any + Opk until CD 14 and 15 SO i am 10 dpo instead of 14! So my temps now. Does it still look good? Btw sore nipps set in last night and heartburn this morning. Af is due sunday or Monday
new picture of chart!

Temps today:


Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

That is the strangest looking chart I’ve seen in a long time. To be honest, I’m not sure that you’ve ovulated at all. You’ve continued to have fertile CM after your supposed ovulation, which is a pretty sure sign that progesterone is not in your system yet. However, if you did indeed ovulate, then CD10 would be the day going by temps– and that’s going by official charting rules, not FF rules. So FF didn’t mess that up. Your current CD11 user-corrected O date actually doesn’t make as much sense as CD10. If you did ovulate in there somewhere, then you should stop using OPK’s. It’s possible to get secondary LH surges late in the LP, so it’s best not to use OPK’s after O because it will just mess with your mind. As for your symptoms, they all are just normal symptoms that many women get regardless of whether they’re pregnant or not.

Also, it’s probably best to post chart-questions on the forums at FF, not here. There aren’t many charters on this website– they’re all on FF.

Good luck!

Mandy asks…

Question about ovulation tests?

I did an OPK for the last few days, one day i got a negative then the following day i got a positive. I tested the day after that to check as well and it had gone back to negative. We BD on the night i got the positive. When will i have ovulated? I thought it was supposed to be between 12-36 hours after first positive so i was expecting the test to show positive for a second day. I have been putting temps into fertility friend and it hasn’t detected ovulation yet and my temps have been the same for about 4 days

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

I know the opk (ovulation predictor kit) says that you will O (ovulate) 12-36 hours after a positive but sometimes I think it takes me a little longer, like 48 hours.
Also, sometimes your LH surge (what the tests look for) are very short, so short that if I don’t test twice a day I might miss it.
Some cycles I will only have one positive test and it will be negative 12 hours later and some cycles I will have positive tests for days.
Most people suggest to stop testing after you get your positive or it will only make you crazy.
I bet you ovulated12-48 hours after your test showed your surge..

It usually takes 2 mornings past ovulation for my temp to raise, that’s normal too.

Here’s a great site with lots of great ladies ttc http://www.twoweekwait.com

Donna asks…

Not pregnant. Not ovulating. Help!?

Okay I downloaded this app last month & im quite new to it but I figured I would try it anyway. Its called Ovuview. I been using it to track my period & my ovulation. However, before I downloaded it, I believe it was the 14th or 15th I started my period or so I thought…It was 3 spot. Sorry if tmi but….one spot was like dried up spilled soda & the other 2 were like bright red blood clotty spots smaller than a dime. I thought this was my period but thats all I had. I waited all week to bleed some more. Nothing. So about a week & then a two week mark I took a pregnancy test yesterday. Negative. So im like alright well that was wierd. So within those 2 wks I took 3 ovulation tests of course spreading them out from when im suppose to ovulate & when im fertile bc Ovuview keeps track of it, negative. So im a bit confused if im not pregnant why are my ovulation tests coming up negative. Ive been having trouble concieving for a long time I really dont want any more obstacles. Im losing hope & really starting to think I cant have kids =/

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

Lindsey, you probably just missed your ovulation day because three tests is not enough to find it. The tests look for LH surge which only happens 12-30 hours prior to ovulation. So you have to really be precise to catch it.

Here are some tips I used and it worked for me!
1. First buy a LOT of ovulation test strips, not 3, you can get 40 for $10 on amazon.com as little strips of paper.
2. Calculate which day you need to begin testing by looking at this chart: http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/opk.html
3. When you test, unlike a pregnancy test, do NOT use your first morning urine. The second or third urine will have LH in it. Test at test the same time (more or less) every day.
4. When you get to in your cycle where you think you should be ovulating soon take the test every 12 hours.

To conceive in a way that optimizes sperm health:
Begin having sex every 36 hours beginning on the day you test.
When you get a positive LH surge have sex every 24 hours for four days. After sex lay with your pelvis elevated on some pillows for at least 45 minutes.

Betty asks…

IUI/ovulation question?

I asked this earlier and got no answers, so i figured I would try again, try # 3 , not trying to be a pest, but I need some advice before I go in… not stressing is hard :-) !!
Ok so, this is supposed to be my first IUI cycles . I used pure FSH injections,CD 3&4 at 150IU, CD 5 at 225 and CD6,7 & 8 were at 75 . On CD 7 I had an untra sound to check progress and I had 3 lead follies at 14mm . He said I had a few others that he did not want to further stimulate . This was on Thursday . I am supposed to go back on Sunday for an ultra sound and to trigger if they are ready and then have an IUI about 24 hours later . I normally don’t ovulate on my own and when I do, my fertile CM is very thick . This month I took evening promrose oil and some extra vitamins . I am worried because I seem to have loads of CM that is nice and stretchy and fluid and I started to check my cervix yesterday and it was higher and slightly open in the afternoon and by evening it was REALLY hard to reach and even more open , This morning, It was still very high but extremely soft and wet and even more open then last night . Before anyone says anything, Yes I made sure I washed my hands with anti-bacterial soap . So I am worried that I will ovulate early and not be able to get my iui . With the time difference ( we are stationed overseas ) I will see my Dr in about 26 hours . I am on CD9 today, will be on CD 10 tomorrow when I see my RE . I took my last FSH injection yesterday on CD 8 . So I guess my questions are, Are my ovulation signs( IE:fertile CM and cervix signs) just more pronounced because of having multipule follies when I normally have none or 1? Do you guys think I will still be able to have an IUI? OR am I worried about nothing? Like will my follies stop growing because I stopped the injections ? and lastly, will 24 hours between the trigger shot be long enough b4 my IUI? Thanks guys, I’m just so nervous…

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

I’m not sure how your doctor does it, but mine had me use ovulation predictor kits twice each day just in case I detected a surge and we had to schedule my IUI early. I’m not sure that all your extra fertile CM means you will ovulate earlier than expected, but I’d definitely call your RE and ask. I don’t remember getting any extra CM myself, but each woman is different. For me, I get fertile CM about 3 days before I actually ovulate. So you might be in the clear. I know we never had to schedule my IUI earlier than planned because never once did I produce the LH surge on my own before the trigger shot. So yes, your ovulation signs might be more pronounced because of the extra follicles, and their development won’t be further artificially stimulated since you are no longer taking injections. The trigger shot is meant to replace the LH surge your body would usually produce, so 24 hours is plenty of time. It’s normal to be nervous in your situation! I know I was, and I second-guessed everything. Now I have 2 1/2 year old twins conceived after 2 failed IUIs and one very successful IVF, and all the stress was worth it. Just hang in there, and ask questions of your RE whenever you have them. That’s what all those doctors and nurses are there for, and they’re experts on all things infertility related. Good luck, and tons and tons of baby dust your way! If you need to talk to someone who’s been through infertility treatment, message me any time. It’s been a while, but I definitely know what it’s like!

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How Is Lh Surge Detected

Donna asks…

No LH surge, or just bad test brand?

I started using OPK’s in June this year. For the first month, I tested once a day. Starting the day after I lasted had bleeding. I continued this until my next period started. Come July, I was testing two times a day, once at around 9 am and again around 4pm. Since then it’s been 2x a day. Yet I have yet to have a LH surge detected.

My periods are and always have been irregular, which is why I start testing the very first day I notice little to no bleeding. I use the Answer OPK’s, as they are the only brand I can find at any of the stores around me.

I have had one child already, 2 years ago. But I’m ready for a 2nd. Add into this mix I was diagnosed with endometriosis shortly after I had my daughter. We just changed insurance, so I’m waiting on that to finalize itself then plan to find a OB/GYN to start with. Then if needed I’ll see if my insurance covers fertility specialists.

In the meantime, does anyone have any advice or thoughts on this?

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

LH is synthesized in the body during the morning…so you may want to make sure you’re up for 4-5 hrs before you do your 1st test and then take the 2nd before bed.

With that said LH tests don’t work for everyone. I had one cycle on Clomid that I didn’t get a LH+ test but had an ultrasound that confirmed ovulation. I’m not sure why they don’t work for some…

Good luck!!!

Maria asks…

Can you still ovulate without a monitor/OPK detecting LH surge?

I was wondering if it is possible for a woman to ovulate without a monitor/OPK detecting her LH surge? I am on CD14 and using the CBEFM and Im on my 6th day of high fertility; no peak days yet…Last month I ovulated on CD13 and CD14 was my last day of high fertility and I only had 3 days of high fert. before that. I did have a short cycle last month 25 days and it was my first cycle off off BC…I know most women do not ovulate on the same day each month but check out my chart..It looks like I already ovulated to me…Am I wrong?


Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

You would not ovulate without the LH surge so I think you are right in saying it already happened.

Laura asks…


when taking an ovulation test. can your LH surge be detected more than one day… or is it more like.. the LH surge is only detected/ happen in one day?

if i take an ovulation test everyday for 3 days… will the test still indicate a LH surge on the 3rd day

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

Generally your LH surges 12-48 hours prior to ovulation.
So yes, you can get 3 days of positive LH surges (first hour, 24th hour, 28th hour), or sometimes you can just have one positive LH surge test.

Sandra asks…

Ovulating test kits? LH Surge?

I have been using the clear blue kit, and yesterday when i testes the blue line that say that the LH surge has been detected came up brighter than the contol line so did what had to be done next and well I know it says you dont need to do the tests anymore but I was curious and tested today and the positive line was weaker than the control line, does LH go or is it meant to be present till a period or pregnancy?

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

The dark line means you are testing positive for your LH surge, which you already know. When you test the next day and the line is considerably lighter you caught your surge the day prior at the right time. Also, do not use your ovulating tests to test for pregnancy. I’m 11 weeks and never tested positive on an OPK (I was out of pregnancy tests). Good luck to you!

Lisa asks…

does lh surge mean im ovulating?

when my lh surge has been found does that mean i have started ovulating?

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

Q: Once I detect my LH surge, when should I have intercourse?

A: It’s best to have intercourse the day of the LH surge and the two days after. Also consider “insurance” sex for one more day in case you ovulate late. Perfect timing would be to have had intercourse the day before the LH surge as well.

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Sex 18 Hours Before Ovulation

Nancy asks…

Ovulation test confusing?

I am ttc and this morning I tested with fmu at what I thought was 9dpo but I’m a bit confused.
I did an opk on cd 17 in the morning and it was neg. The test line was darker than the previous day’s test but was still lighter than the control line. Later that day just after lunch I started to feel an ache on the right side like ovulation pain, so I tested again at 9pm that evening and both lines were the same colour so I took it that this would be a positive.
The next day on cd 18 I did another opk in the mid morning and the test line was slightly darker than the control line and later on that evening at 7pm the test line was a lot darker than the control line. The right sided pain was also a lot worse than the previous day’s but the ewcm wasn’t as bad. The ovulation pain on this day was so bad I had to take two paracetamol and go to bed early.
The next day on cd19 I tested again in the am and opk was back to neg. The ovulation pain also wasn’t as bad although it was still there to some degree. So to recap:


I usually get a pos hpt at either 9 or 10 dpo. Is it possible that I ovulated on cd19? If this is the case I would only be 8dpo today. I thought you got ovulation pain as egg was being released but have read today that it usually occurs before as the follicle is developing. cd18 was the worst day for pain and also the day of strongest opk so surely I actually ovulated on cd19?
I have had a few pregnancy symptoms such as hunger, tiredness, stinging cervical pain, and sharp shooting pains in boobs. Also have a constant ache in right side but af pains seem to have disappeared and there isn’t much cm either. Just a little bit of white but not loads. I was trying for a boy and was trying to have sex as close to ovulation as possible, but if I bd on cd18 at 1am and I didn’t actually ovulate until late cd19 I think I may have mucked up my chances.

Let me know what you all think?
Thanks for your reply. Just a quick update. I’m now 9/10dpo and got a positive on clearblue and first response this morning. Turns out I didn’t have sex too far from ovulation!
Baby dust to all that are trying xx

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

A positive ovulation test doesn’t mean you are ovulating that moment. It means you are having the hormonal surge that triggers ovulation anywhere from 12-48 hours later. Even using OPKs, you can’t predict ovulation any better than to within 48 hours, so, don’t worry about mucking up your chances for one sex vs. The other – your chances are still only about 50-50 because 12-48 hours is plenty of time for either X or Y sperm to get to the egg.

As an average, it is said to expect ovulation the day after your first positive OPK, but to continue having sex until 2 days after the OPKs turn negative again. Since your first positive was cd17, ovulation could have been as early as cd18, however since you had the strongest positive was on cd18, you could have ovulated on cd19 or even 20. While ovulation pain is another sign of ovulation, it is hard to pinpoint what the pain actually is – whether its a swollen follicle that has not yet burst or the egg bursting or whatever.

Charting your temps would also help to pinpoint ovulation retrospectively, but it doesn’t help much to predict ovulation.

Good luck!

Sharon asks…

Conception and ovulation question?

Hello. Before I post, I would like to ask for respectful and serious answers only, PLEASE. Im going through enough. Im pregnant. The father could be one of two men. Im on a strict 28 day menstrual cycle and its like clockwork. The first day of my last period was May 9. I had sex with guy 1 on May 18 one time. I had sex with guy 2 on May 22, 23, 24, 25 and 26, multiple times in each day. I believe i ovulate the 12-14 day during my cycle. Could anyone please tell me who they think could be the father and how they came up with it? I know they calculate your due date based on the first day of your last period but obviously you dont get pregnant dduring your period. They have me at 11 weeks currently based on my ,last period but I just dont know how to figure who is most likely to be the dad. Thanks so much for your help

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

That’s just too close to call. The ovulation calculator says fertile days 5/20-5/25. The squigglies live for about 48 hours in you, so that just makes it for both guys.

The only way to settle this is a paternity test.

Helen asks…

intercourse before positive ovulation?

hi we did the baby dance friday night and again early hours sat morning we got a positive test today what are the chances or fri and sat getting us pregnant? does it count? x

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

I am presuming “baby dance” means you had sex? Sperm can live for quite a while as they journey towards the fallopian tubes. Having sex every 2 days from day 11 – 18 (presuming you ovulate around day 13 or 14) is the best method for successful fertilisation. There should still be sperm from Saturday but if you have sex again today they could still meet the egg before it enters your womb.

Mandy asks…

sex before two days of Periods starts?

i had sex with my girlfriend on 16th Apr night,i didn’t ejaculate inside. her period date was 18 Apr, to avoid pregnancy she takes unwanted 72 to next day after 18 hours, still her periods are not started, today is 17 may, is she pregnant?
Thanks for the proper guidance, but i am worried why her periods are not started yet?
she is going through mental stress due to her job change and clashes with her boss. does this mental stress and also weakness in body cause to delay of periods?
she is physically not strong , could this be reason for her period extension? up to what time do we need to wait for pregnancy test? please suggest.

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

Due date was 18th april means u had ur period on 20th march
so ovulation took place on 4th April
ur fertile time was 1 to 6th April
u had sex 0n 16th
U r not pregnant

Mary asks…


can you become pregnant when you are not ovulating. i had my time of the month on july 18th and had unprotected sex this past thursday on august 7th. i have a normal period and noticed i ovulated the last week of july. so again is it still possible to become pregnant?

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

The only time you can become pregnant is during your ovulation window. Your egg will live no longer than 36 hours, and his sperm can live up to 5 days. So, doing some math – if you had unprotected intercourse 5 or fewer days before your ovulation date, you can become pregnant. Outside of that window, pregnancy is not possible. When women get pregnant at odd times, it happens because they ovulated earlier/later than expected, or in the very rare case, they ovulated 2 times in one cycle.

It doesn’t seem likely this month, but every person is different. Hope this helped!

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Having Sex 18 Hours Before Ovulation

Mandy asks…

Could I end up pregnant? Fear related to period and sex.?

I feel atrocious not knowing this, but I guess that has something to do with inexperience (or a poor constructed health class in high school).

I started my period on December 9th in the very early hours of the morning. My period before that one started on November 11th, and the one before that started on October 17th. I generally bleed for a few days, stop almost completely for one, then start up again for another day or so.

I’m planning on having sex first the first time this coming Thursday, December 18th. One of the last things I want in my life right now is to get pregnant. My boyfriend feels the same. He has brand new condoms that we will be using, but I am currently not on any kind of birth control.

My question is…how does one determine when they are most fertile? It’s ovulation, right? I don’t know how to tell when I would be more likely to get pregnant. If we use a condom and make sure nothing goes wrong, how good are my chances of not becoming pregnant if I’m ovulating at the time?

Any advice is appreciated!!

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

If you’re going to have sex with someone and you’ve never done it before… Both of you really should read this – together – and talk together about every word of it all. Seriously. Sex is – more than anything – intimate human communication, and if you can’t even *talk* about it with your first-partner-to-be, you’re definitely not ready to *do* it. (Either of you can even email me if you’ve other questions: I’m almost always around, and this stuff is really *important*).

For some girls, first sex hurts a lot (your hymen itself has no nerve endings to *feel* pain with… Discomfort is often from unfamiliar stretching of vaginal muscles and tissues – though *pain* is far more often from lack of enough lubrication)… For others, it hurts only a little or just feels *weird*… For still others, it doesn’t hurt at all and feels fantaastic right from the first moment.

It’s the same with hymenal bleeding… And there’s no way to really know which it’s going to be for you until it happens.

Even so, there’s no reason at all (except lack of knowledge and preparation, or plain dumb luck) that it shouldn’t feel good the very *first* time… Even if it hurts a lot at first.

You’re ready for sex as soon as you want to do it *and* are comfortable and happy with the following… And if you’re not comfortable with *all* of it, you’re probably not ready, no matter what age you are:

First… Really be *sure* you wanna “do it” with the guy you’ve chosen.

You’re a virgin, and your first full-on sex should be with someone you’re really gonna want to *be* that intimate with for a while, and I don’t just mean the physical intimacy of openly sharing your bodies and their reactions without shame… Because there’s a lot of mental and emotional stuff that comes with the hormones and hangups that fill the sexual territory between partners. You’ll be MUCH better and happier for choosing such a person, even if that “while” only turns out to be a few weeks… Trust me on this point, OK?

First-timing can be pretty disappointing for girls, not just because it’s often painful (at least at first), but also because nervousness and awkwardness for both of you can make it very difficult for *you* to concentrate on your own pleasure. You don’t have to worry too much about *his* pleasure: except for some possible emotional stuff, he’s going to enjoy it a *lot* – even his first time. Young men are lucky that way, sure, but it’s also a very rare man indeed (but not at all a rare woman) who can have several orgasms in less than half an hour. In the long run, almost all women will *always* come out ahead in that race if they really want to… *and* if they put their own needs first and actually try. :-)

Advice? Tips? Good things to plan for and think about?

Learn your body and its sexual reponses *first* (masturbating is your best teacher here)… Long before you ever have sex with someone else besides yourself the first time. No kidding here: if you don’t know how to have sexual pleasure and orgasms alone… It’s time you learned. How is your man gonna have the first clue how how to get the work together with you if *you* don’t even know what the job is and can’t *teach* him?

Make sure you have lots of total privacy for quite a long time (three hours or more is a good idea) because not only might there be some uncomfortable, embarrassing or painful moments along the way, but there’s more to the first time than just “doing it”, and you’ll have a lot of stuff to talk about afterwards – you do *not* want any of this to be interrupted.

When it comes to intercourse, tell your guy that *you* will be the one to say “stop” if anything’s wrong (like pain, or even if you just chicken out) and that it’s up to him to remember that when you tell him “stop”.

If it should happen that your first time *will* be painful, bracing yourself against pain will only make it worse. RELAX… As he enters you, try pushing just a little bit as if you’re trying to pee – this will relax your pelvic muscles and *greatly* diminish any discomfort or pain.

Don’t even *try* unless you’re very turned on and very slippery… A couple of orgasms first by masturbating/oral (*before* intercourse!) will also help your vagina to be more relaxed, stretchier and more insistent on having something inside – and if you don’t get very wet no matter how horny you are, have some water-based lube (KY, Astroglide, Wet or similar) handy and *use* it – a tablespoon isn’t too much and a half-teaspoon isn’t nearly enough -and no matter what, go SLOW until you’re comfortable. This isn’t his time – it’s yours.

That lube will also help prevent breakage of the condom. Yes, the condom. There’s a name for people who rely on “pulling out” as a method of avoiding pregnancy: “parents”… Or sometimes “parents with STDs”. Also, condoms break (or otherwise fail) one time out of every 20… You ought to have a backup contraceptive method either in use at the time (pills, diaphragm, spermicides, etc) or available right away (Plan B).

Any pain you may feel will go away in a few minutes to a couple of days (sometimes there’s a little bruising), and after it’s over with, each time will be *much* better if you stick to everything above.

Oral sex is also fine any time at all for either person, at least if both of them are comfortable with it and enjoy it. Doing it until the person receiving has an orgasm is nicest, but that isn’t necessary unless you both want it.

I’m a guy, and I’m almost 50 years old, but I would have benefited hugely from most of this advice myself the first time *I* had sex – at age 13. No regrets, but I know now that we both would have fared a lot better if we’d thought about these things even for a few days.

Since then, I’ve raised 4 kids who’ve grown up to be fairly responsible and (more important) sexually healthy adults. I’d *like* to think that their mothers and I were the ones who helped them to become that way.

Sandy asks…

short ovulation question?

should i have sex before during or after ovulation?
so my days on the calender i saw were 13-18 i believe.
how will i know when im ovulating

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

The optimum time is 3 days before and the day of. If you are charting, checking your CM, or using OPK’s you have a better estimate of when you should ovulate so you know better what days to bd in order to conceive. Cervical mucus gets egg white consistency just before ovulation so that is a good indication to have sex on that day(s). Charting your bbt will show you the day after you ovulated by a spike in temperature. Your egg only lives for about 24 hours so having sex after ovulation is not very productive. Sperm can live 3-5 days or even more in the right conditions so having sex before you ovulate increases your chances as well. Good luck.

Sandra asks…

Ovulation and Conception Questions. Lots of Answers Please.?

My cycle is 28 days and i started spotting on 8/31 and i got my period on 9/2 and according to www.babycenter.com my fertile days are 9/13 to 9/18. If i had sex everyday besides the day i am suppose to ovulate (ON DAY 14) is there a chance that i could still get pregnant because i have been reading that sperm lives up to 72 hours and can be waiting for the egg to be released? I was also wondering if as soon as the egg is released and the sperm gets to it will i have ovulation symptoms like that clear sticky discharge? Also when is the earliest i can receive a accurate home pregnancy test.
I am very anxious to get pregnant again after having a miscarriage.
Thanks in advance for the answers

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

Good for you for figuring out your personal ovulation pattern. Having your cycle every 28 days shows that you have excellent reproductive health. Now you can take control of your fertility for the rest of your reproductive life. Here are some ideas below on ovulation and fertility. Pregnancy signs and when to pregnancy test on the site below. Best, G

Ovulation and Fertility Planning
If your cycle is 28 days in length you will most likely begin to ovulate 14 days after the first day of your last period. Ovulation occurs for three days. You will notice your discharge is clear instead of cloudy during the three days that you ovulate. You may notice heightened sexual desire, you may have increased discharge and you may feel a small pinching on and off as your egg is released and begins to travel through your body, and you will have a slight body temperature drop and then you will experience a higher temperature. All of these are signals from your body that ovulation has begun.

Desiring Pregnancy: If your cycle is 28 days in length begin sexual intimacy 10 days after the first day of your last period and continue until the 18th day. Make use of the pre-ejaculate during intimacy as it contains the most potent sperm. Having sexual intimacy every three or four days during this time frame is suggested as sperm can live for up to five days in a warm, moist environment. Your egg has a life of up to 24 hours. Having the sperm already in place inside of you before ovulation starts is an excellent way to increase your chances of conception. Best wishes, G

Betty asks…

chances of pregnancy when having sex 2 days before period?

me and my fiance are trying
but its a long distance relationship
so we only see each other once a month
we see each other on the 18
but my period is scheduled for the 20th
I thought you ovulate 14 days before your period?

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

Unless you ovulate very late in your cycle for some reason, then the chances of becoming pregnant are zero. The egg only survives for about 24 hours after ovulation and if it’s not fertilised in that time, it dies and is flushed out with your next period. If you ovulate on day 14, by day 15/16 the egg will have died.

Donna asks…

A question about ovulation.. help me please?

So I start to ovulate on the 18 .. Me and my bf had sex late night on the 12th he did ejaculate inside of me. and also on the 14th 2 times and both the times he did ejaculate inside of me.What are the chances of pregnancy at this point? Also another question . When you have sex before ovulation .. Does the sperm just wait there untill the egg is ready to get fertilized? Thanx in advanced

Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:

By your nick name and the question I would think you are in fact a Nena or a girl (young I mean)

Well, there is a chance, there’s always a chance with unprotected sex but 4 days before an ovulation is a very slim chance, although it can happen. Wait until next 18 to have a test.

No the sperm don’t wait they fight to get to the egg and they begin to die while trying to fertilized the egg. They got their time count as well as the egg, up to 4 days for them IF they are very very healthy and just 24 hours for the egg.

Good Luck!

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