Could I end up pregnant? Fear related to period and sex.?
I feel atrocious not knowing this, but I guess that has something to do with inexperience (or a poor constructed health class in high school).
I started my period on December 9th in the very early hours of the morning. My period before that one started on November 11th, and the one before that started on October 17th. I generally bleed for a few days, stop almost completely for one, then start up again for another day or so.
I’m planning on having sex first the first time this coming Thursday, December 18th. One of the last things I want in my life right now is to get pregnant. My boyfriend feels the same. He has brand new condoms that we will be using, but I am currently not on any kind of birth control.
My question is…how does one determine when they are most fertile? It’s ovulation, right? I don’t know how to tell when I would be more likely to get pregnant. If we use a condom and make sure nothing goes wrong, how good are my chances of not becoming pregnant if I’m ovulating at the time?
Any advice is appreciated!!
Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:
If you’re going to have sex with someone and you’ve never done it before… Both of you really should read this – together – and talk together about every word of it all. Seriously. Sex is – more than anything – intimate human communication, and if you can’t even *talk* about it with your first-partner-to-be, you’re definitely not ready to *do* it. (Either of you can even email me if you’ve other questions: I’m almost always around, and this stuff is really *important*).
For some girls, first sex hurts a lot (your hymen itself has no nerve endings to *feel* pain with… Discomfort is often from unfamiliar stretching of vaginal muscles and tissues – though *pain* is far more often from lack of enough lubrication)… For others, it hurts only a little or just feels *weird*… For still others, it doesn’t hurt at all and feels fantaastic right from the first moment.
It’s the same with hymenal bleeding… And there’s no way to really know which it’s going to be for you until it happens.
Even so, there’s no reason at all (except lack of knowledge and preparation, or plain dumb luck) that it shouldn’t feel good the very *first* time… Even if it hurts a lot at first.
You’re ready for sex as soon as you want to do it *and* are comfortable and happy with the following… And if you’re not comfortable with *all* of it, you’re probably not ready, no matter what age you are:
First… Really be *sure* you wanna “do it” with the guy you’ve chosen.
You’re a virgin, and your first full-on sex should be with someone you’re really gonna want to *be* that intimate with for a while, and I don’t just mean the physical intimacy of openly sharing your bodies and their reactions without shame… Because there’s a lot of mental and emotional stuff that comes with the hormones and hangups that fill the sexual territory between partners. You’ll be MUCH better and happier for choosing such a person, even if that “while” only turns out to be a few weeks… Trust me on this point, OK?
First-timing can be pretty disappointing for girls, not just because it’s often painful (at least at first), but also because nervousness and awkwardness for both of you can make it very difficult for *you* to concentrate on your own pleasure. You don’t have to worry too much about *his* pleasure: except for some possible emotional stuff, he’s going to enjoy it a *lot* – even his first time. Young men are lucky that way, sure, but it’s also a very rare man indeed (but not at all a rare woman) who can have several orgasms in less than half an hour. In the long run, almost all women will *always* come out ahead in that race if they really want to… *and* if they put their own needs first and actually try.
Advice? Tips? Good things to plan for and think about?
Learn your body and its sexual reponses *first* (masturbating is your best teacher here)… Long before you ever have sex with someone else besides yourself the first time. No kidding here: if you don’t know how to have sexual pleasure and orgasms alone… It’s time you learned. How is your man gonna have the first clue how how to get the work together with you if *you* don’t even know what the job is and can’t *teach* him?
Make sure you have lots of total privacy for quite a long time (three hours or more is a good idea) because not only might there be some uncomfortable, embarrassing or painful moments along the way, but there’s more to the first time than just “doing it”, and you’ll have a lot of stuff to talk about afterwards – you do *not* want any of this to be interrupted.
When it comes to intercourse, tell your guy that *you* will be the one to say “stop” if anything’s wrong (like pain, or even if you just chicken out) and that it’s up to him to remember that when you tell him “stop”.
If it should happen that your first time *will* be painful, bracing yourself against pain will only make it worse. RELAX… As he enters you, try pushing just a little bit as if you’re trying to pee – this will relax your pelvic muscles and *greatly* diminish any discomfort or pain.
Don’t even *try* unless you’re very turned on and very slippery… A couple of orgasms first by masturbating/oral (*before* intercourse!) will also help your vagina to be more relaxed, stretchier and more insistent on having something inside – and if you don’t get very wet no matter how horny you are, have some water-based lube (KY, Astroglide, Wet or similar) handy and *use* it – a tablespoon isn’t too much and a half-teaspoon isn’t nearly enough -and no matter what, go SLOW until you’re comfortable. This isn’t his time – it’s yours.
That lube will also help prevent breakage of the condom. Yes, the condom. There’s a name for people who rely on “pulling out” as a method of avoiding pregnancy: “parents”… Or sometimes “parents with STDs”. Also, condoms break (or otherwise fail) one time out of every 20… You ought to have a backup contraceptive method either in use at the time (pills, diaphragm, spermicides, etc) or available right away (Plan B).
Any pain you may feel will go away in a few minutes to a couple of days (sometimes there’s a little bruising), and after it’s over with, each time will be *much* better if you stick to everything above.
Oral sex is also fine any time at all for either person, at least if both of them are comfortable with it and enjoy it. Doing it until the person receiving has an orgasm is nicest, but that isn’t necessary unless you both want it.
I’m a guy, and I’m almost 50 years old, but I would have benefited hugely from most of this advice myself the first time *I* had sex – at age 13. No regrets, but I know now that we both would have fared a lot better if we’d thought about these things even for a few days.
Since then, I’ve raised 4 kids who’ve grown up to be fairly responsible and (more important) sexually healthy adults. I’d *like* to think that their mothers and I were the ones who helped them to become that way.
short ovulation question?
should i have sex before during or after ovulation?
so my days on the calender i saw were 13-18 i believe.
how will i know when im ovulating
Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:
The optimum time is 3 days before and the day of. If you are charting, checking your CM, or using OPK’s you have a better estimate of when you should ovulate so you know better what days to bd in order to conceive. Cervical mucus gets egg white consistency just before ovulation so that is a good indication to have sex on that day(s). Charting your bbt will show you the day after you ovulated by a spike in temperature. Your egg only lives for about 24 hours so having sex after ovulation is not very productive. Sperm can live 3-5 days or even more in the right conditions so having sex before you ovulate increases your chances as well. Good luck.
Ovulation and Conception Questions. Lots of Answers Please.?
My cycle is 28 days and i started spotting on 8/31 and i got my period on 9/2 and according to www.babycenter.com my fertile days are 9/13 to 9/18. If i had sex everyday besides the day i am suppose to ovulate (ON DAY 14) is there a chance that i could still get pregnant because i have been reading that sperm lives up to 72 hours and can be waiting for the egg to be released? I was also wondering if as soon as the egg is released and the sperm gets to it will i have ovulation symptoms like that clear sticky discharge? Also when is the earliest i can receive a accurate home pregnancy test.
I am very anxious to get pregnant again after having a miscarriage.
Thanks in advance for the answers
Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:
Good for you for figuring out your personal ovulation pattern. Having your cycle every 28 days shows that you have excellent reproductive health. Now you can take control of your fertility for the rest of your reproductive life. Here are some ideas below on ovulation and fertility. Pregnancy signs and when to pregnancy test on the site below. Best, G
Ovulation and Fertility Planning
If your cycle is 28 days in length you will most likely begin to ovulate 14 days after the first day of your last period. Ovulation occurs for three days. You will notice your discharge is clear instead of cloudy during the three days that you ovulate. You may notice heightened sexual desire, you may have increased discharge and you may feel a small pinching on and off as your egg is released and begins to travel through your body, and you will have a slight body temperature drop and then you will experience a higher temperature. All of these are signals from your body that ovulation has begun.
Desiring Pregnancy: If your cycle is 28 days in length begin sexual intimacy 10 days after the first day of your last period and continue until the 18th day. Make use of the pre-ejaculate during intimacy as it contains the most potent sperm. Having sexual intimacy every three or four days during this time frame is suggested as sperm can live for up to five days in a warm, moist environment. Your egg has a life of up to 24 hours. Having the sperm already in place inside of you before ovulation starts is an excellent way to increase your chances of conception. Best wishes, G
chances of pregnancy when having sex 2 days before period?
me and my fiance are trying
but its a long distance relationship
so we only see each other once a month
we see each other on the 18
but my period is scheduled for the 20th
I thought you ovulate 14 days before your period?
Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:
Unless you ovulate very late in your cycle for some reason, then the chances of becoming pregnant are zero. The egg only survives for about 24 hours after ovulation and if it’s not fertilised in that time, it dies and is flushed out with your next period. If you ovulate on day 14, by day 15/16 the egg will have died.
A question about ovulation.. help me please?
So I start to ovulate on the 18 .. Me and my bf had sex late night on the 12th he did ejaculate inside of me. and also on the 14th 2 times and both the times he did ejaculate inside of me.What are the chances of pregnancy at this point? Also another question . When you have sex before ovulation .. Does the sperm just wait there untill the egg is ready to get fertilized? Thanx in advanced
Pregnancy Advisor’s answers:
By your nick name and the question I would think you are in fact a Nena or a girl (young I mean)
Well, there is a chance, there’s always a chance with unprotected sex but 4 days before an ovulation is a very slim chance, although it can happen. Wait until next 18 to have a test.
No the sperm don’t wait they fight to get to the egg and they begin to die while trying to fertilized the egg. They got their time count as well as the egg, up to 4 days for them IF they are very very healthy and just 24 hours for the egg.
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